If the Bible was Blogged

I know the Bible was not blogged. The publishing technologies were different back then. But what if it was? What technologies would be used? What kind of blogs would the authors create for their unique messages?

Jesus wrote in the sand with his finger. No doubt a Wiki-man who would have preferred his own Wiki Sandbox.



Solomon
would have sent out his proverbs with an daily RSS feed, perhaps using a blog as a home base for his feeds.



Matthew
. A hyperlink geek who would blog with a constant stream of links back to the original prophecies in the Hebrew Scriptures. Most blogging programs make that easy. But a blogging editor lets you do it all offline. I use Ecto.

Luke was writing the book of Acts on the move. He would have been a Moblogger for sure, He could have sent all his posts through telephone – both written and audio. Unless he was a WiFi Warrior, tapping into rogue signals to post their blogs like other missionaries on the move around the world (yes, thats me . .  many times)

Moses? MoBlogging would have worked for Moses also, but posting from the middle of the desert would have been a nightmare. Not only no WiFi but also not phone signal. Perhaps satellite technology would have been necessary. I tend to think of Moses as more of a .PDF man – creating long, scrolling documents that could be safely stored and retrieved when necessary. Especially the Commandments – they were too permanent to blog. And if he did blog the commandments, he would have turned off the comments underneath. I know I would have.

Nehemiah was the firewall freak, always worrying about security, hacks, and building up those walls to keep out the bad guys (spammers, hackers, crackers, flamers). If he blogged, he would have gone for one of those really secure blogging systems that make you type out unique codes before you can comment.

John could have run a Vlog (video blog) with all those visions that make up his Revelation. Pity he couldn’t record the visions with a mental screen capture program.

David was a musician so a podcasting blog would have enabled the recordings of his psalms to be narrowcast to anyone, broadband or dial-up. As for live performance, Media Shout rather than the complicated VJ software  like Arkaos or Isadora that Ezekiel would have used for his mixed media presentations.

Saul was paranoid about rumors and threats. He would have subscribed to Bloglines, or Del.icio.us or created a watchlist on technorati with the key words “David has killed his ten of thousands” and then he would have tracked exactly which blogger was saying it, and when, and where they lived. Or even better, snatching the blogger’s own RSS feeds to read what they are reading. Like dragging Jordon’s del.icio.us/inbox/jordoncooper into one’s news reader, for example.  But if he did blog, he would have used a similar site to measure his blog rankings, so that he could be sure of being head and shoulders above the rest.

The Apostle Paul, I have always thought, would be a straight xhtml guy – a designer who creates and controls his own site. “See with what large letters I write to you” – the man was was a Coder, no doubt. He created business tent-shops, so web design would be the contemporary equivalent in today’s e-business world. Paul would have used a notebook PC.

Peter, on the other hand, employed Silvanus to write his first letter. He would have used an easy blogging system like Typepad, Blogger, SquareSpace, InkNoise. And Silvanus would have set him up with a blogging editor like Ecto for his Mac. Yes, Peter’s Mac. . .  iBook, to be exact.

And What Would Jesus Do with all the blogging choices? I dont know . . . but if it was you thinking of blogging and not Jesus, you might check out the first stop for any budding theoblogian which is Jordon’s Blog Round-up. And if you had more time, you would read some more thoughts on blogging from me and from Jordon.

Andrew

Andrew Jones launched his first internet space in 1997 and has been teaching on related issues for the past 20 years. He travels all the time but lives between Wellington, San Francisco and a hobbit home in Prague.

42 Comments

  • misfit mom says:

    Loved your commentary on blogging the Bible. Why don’t you give it a try with anyone or more of those vast technologies you talked about.
    GOD’S WORD DOES NOT RETURN VOID!
    You’re brilliant!

  • seyms says:

    Excellent post – best chuckle I have had all day. Thank you!

  • Wenn die Bibel heute geschrieben würde

    Andrew Jones hat sich überlegt, wie die einzelnen Autoren der Bibel wohl heute ihre Schriften veröffentlichen würden.
    Ein Auszug:
    Jesus wrote in the sand with his finger. No doubt a Wiki-man who would have preferred his own Wiki…

  • Great commentary, Andrew. Great thinking.
    P.S. – I’ve re-opened shop at bloggedy blog. Back in business.

  • Josue says:

    I agree with you. If God had to start the Bible all over again, chances are that He would inspire a group of committed webmasters or bloggers 🙂

  • Just Josue says:

    holy blog

    If God had to start the Bible all over again, chances are that He would inspire a group of committed webmasters or bloggers. Andrew has a very interesting article on how that would happen 🙂

  • What if the Bible was blogged?

    Here’s a funny and interesting post from Andrew: If the Bible was blogged….

  • David says:

    very funny…yet insightful. 🙂

  • joeturner says:

    OK, I know this is meant to be a bit of fun, so sorry if I am taking it too seriously.
    I wonder if Jesus would have blogged.
    I suspect people would have blogged about him, people would have argued about what he said and did, but somehow I don’t think he would have been a technophyle (or whatever the word is).
    Here was someone who was as clear as water – WYSIWAYG in a way. I can see him hanging in a chatroom, discussing stuff in an internet cafe, emailling and conforting friends. I just don’t see him having the whateverthewordis as a self publicist.
    Of course, it is just idle speculation.
    For me, the bible of today would have been written on the walls of the mental health hospital, the rubble of a warzone, the last £5 note, the gravestone.
    Interesting though, thanks Andrew. Much to ponder.
    J

  • Xrossblog says:

    TSK: Die Bibel heute geschrieben

    *lol* TSK hat einen coolen “Post”:http://tallskinnykiwi.typepad.com/tallskinnykiwi/2005/05/if_the_bible_wa.html verfasst darüber, welche Techniken die biblischen Autoren verwendet hätten, wenn sie heute schreiben würden….

  • Nice commentary, Andrew. Good idea. Can I use some of yours comments here in Spain… is good!
    Luis, Spain

  • xphiles says:

    If the Bible Had Been Blogged

    Andrew Jones of Tall Skinny Kiwi has a great

  • What if the Bible was blogged?

    Here’s a funny and interesting post from Andrew: If the Bible was blogged….

  • If the Bible had been blogged…

    Andrew Jones asks an interesting question and comes up with a pretty funny and insightful answer. What if the Bible were blogged?

  • if the bible was blogged

    What technologies would be used? What kind of blogs would the authors create for their unique messages?Musings from a Tall Skinny Kiwi

  • ella says:

    and the women?
    perhaps they were all text messagers…

  • andrew jones says:

    i thought about that Ella, and was tempted to mention the Greats (Deborah, Mary, etc – many of whom could have done well with a photoblog or podcast of their songs) but as far as Bible authors go, it was a mens world back then. Not much i can do about that now.

  • If The Bible Was Blogged

    Now this is funny. I know the Bible was not blogged. The publishing technologies were different back then. But what if it was? What technologies would be used? What kind of blogs would the authors create for their unique messages?…

  • What if the Bible was blogged…?

    Worth a laugh, surely. Perhaps more if you actually understand all the blogging terms used, which I admit some of you might not. But then, that’s what Wikipedia is for.
    Jesus wrote in the…

  • A Welsh View says:

    If The Bible Was Blogged

    If the Bible was written today would the authors have used blogging tools? Andrew Jones discusses what the authors could have used. John could have run a Vlog (video blog) with all those visions that make up his Revelation. Solomon

  • bobbie says:

    brilliant andrew!

  • Crystal says:

    This was fantastic!

  • how about…esther, ruth, priscilla (the suspected writer of hebrews?) but i imagine they were far too busy, washing, cleaning, tending, raising kids, to blog…though they did have a ‘mean’ story share in the tents;) (today it would be the from the carpool lines, to the and the academic halls and everywhere in between…(expect on the rare days they might get a nap! ;D)

  • love this post though, just got caught up in defending the women;)

  • andrew jones says:

    Susie – you go.
    Esther would not have blogged – she was too busy saving the bloody world from her couch while the men were fighting for power over who would get the money and fame and control over the world’s most powerful city.
    Esther, the little orphan girl, saves the day, rescues her people, has the bad guy deleted and and throws a huge party on the streets that is still remembered and celebrated today.
    And some male dude (Mordecai?) wrote about it d:-)

  • Mark says:

    Very clever. Thank you!

  • Simultaneity says:

    Blogging and the Bible

    An interesting look at what blogging technology would be used by who, if the Bible was blogged today….

  • Tensegrities says:

    If the bible was blogged…

    Too funny! Thanks, Cheryl, for sending me the link to this post by Andrew Jones in his blog TallSkinnyKiwi. It makes some whimsical suggestions about how various bible authors would have managed their content via the web. Here’s a taste…

  • Tensegrities says:

    If the bible was blogged…

    Too funny! Thanks, Cheryl, for sending me the link to this post by Andrew Jones in his blog TallSkinnyKiwi. It makes some whimsical suggestions about how various bible authors would have managed their content via the web. Here’s a taste…

  • iggy says:

    Funny stuff.
    Ever notice that the Book of Acts does not really seem to end?
    I think that is so each person can finish it with their story…..
    And here we are today. Millions of blogs… millions of stories…. all saying how they are
    inspired…. by God or whatever turns their crank.
    I think maybe even today…. the Bible continues to be written in this way.
    Blessings,
    iggy

  • naineet says:

    Heaven is god’s house and every house has two doors.front door for the good people….back door for us.!!!

  • Spoke says:

    What if the Bible was blogged?

    TallSkinnyKiwi: If the Bible was Blogged…

  • Martin.d says:

    In Germany is an Open Source Bibel Projekt out since some month called “Volxbibel” ( http://www.volxbibel.de ).
    Everyone ist able to work, translate an write on it.

  • LordRich says:

    Following on from Jesus’s example there are a number of wikis for bible commentary. Two examples being Bible Wiki and Anachist Bible Commentary

  • andrew says:

    another thought: If Jesus had a blog, I would be on his blogroll!

  • dave says:

    and if Jesus had a blog, hed be on my blogroll

  • Nikolai says:

    Thank you, real good post.
    I would also put him on my blogroll. I would like to see, how quick people would get his feed.

  • keith says:

    Sweet!
    And I think the OT prophets would have blogs that relied heavily on photo-sharing tools like Flickr to display snapshots of devastation (labeled “this could be you”) and then gave prophetic messages using YouTube……

  • keith says:

    Sweet!
    And I think the OT prophets would have blogs that relied heavily on photo-sharing tools like Flickr to display snapshots of devastation (labeled “this could be you”) and then gave prophetic messages using YouTube……

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