I am trying to gain some weight this year and am drinking pure malt in place of coffee and tea. I stumbled on this 1934 ad for Kelp-a-Malt recently.
Gaining weight.
I am trying to gain some weight this year and am drinking pure malt in place of coffee and tea. I stumbled on this 1934 ad for Kelp-a-Malt recently.
Now, that’s funny! It never ceases to amaze me how culture can swing from one extreme to another.
OK Andrew – this is the Bob Roberts Texas formula for weight gain:
1. Have shipped on hot ice a half gallon of Blue Bell Home Made Vanilla Ice- cream every day. Eat a third before breakfast, a third at lunch with half a cobber, and a third before bed with 17 sugar cookies.
2. Lay gently on one side and don’t move all night – keep a slop jar near the bed so you don’t have to get up and walk – you might loose a few.
3. If you eat it – deep fry – twice – meat, potatoes, vegetables – batter it up really good.
4. Creamy, white, grease gravy – on at least two items a day.
5. Keep a chocolate bar in your pocket at all times – never let it stay there over 3 hours.
6. If you don’t loose weight – you’ve got some terminal disease – be grateful – eat a lot – die tall and skinny!
And now being called skinny is a compliment for women.
You could try to SuperSize Me at McD’s.
thanks everyone. slop jar. bob? ok – lets do this Texas style. i do have stubbs bbq sauce on the shelf.
i think i need some kelp-a-malt tablets as they obviously improves one’s posture! still available?
Thanks for this; it is brill. We are going to make it into a poster.
Texas weight gain is simple. BlueBell + pizza + Coca Cola. that’s all you need!
thanks Frank. I actually do like Blue Bell vanilla and remember it fondly from when we lived there. didnt gain me any weight, however.
http://www.offthemark.com/send.php?pdate=2001-05-17
Nice find!
If you’re really trying to gain weight then you would be better off doing things like protein shakes with whole milk along with a handful of nuts at every meal.
This tips are more likely to give you healthy weight (muscle).
Train Hard,
Tony Schwartz
Athletic Muscle Building
I agree with Tony. That, and hard, heavy weight training to ensure all the added protein is added as muscle, not fat. Unless it’s fat that you want! Then, follow bob’s plan 🙂
It’s surprising how many people want to gain weight rather than lose it, but it’s important not to just gain fat. Good exercise to put on muscle and good nutrition are best, but you don’t need to be obsessed with getting huge, just gain some healthy muscle weight. If any readers are interested in this it might be worth having a look at this “skinny guys” results,
no nonsense muscle building