Emergent Beards

Pognog Full Setsmall2-1

(image found on Aaron’s blog)

The Emergent Controversy has been raging through the American churches and I wish to put an end to once and for all. Right now. The official Emergent™ Beard pointed out by Kester and named “The Crowder” by Bob is NOT . . . I repeat . . NOT the official beard.

I hate to bring up the USA vs. Euro divide again. And no disrespect intended to David Crowder – who we love, despite his funky looks – but Bryce Wagner of Fuse Factory (Lausanne) fame and VJ at many of our worship events, has a beard that is significantly longer and more prominent . . by far a contender for the ultimate Emergent™ Beard. I call it . . “THE WAGNER”


Related Emergent news

– Marc at Purgatorio follows up his famous You might be Emergent if . . post with Help: I’m Going Hyper: 25 warning signs that you might be obsessing over Calvinism. I want you to know that i was led to this post and did not choose it out of my own free will.

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Andrew Jones launched his first internet space in 1997 and has been teaching on related issues for the past 20 years. He travels all the time but lives between Wellington, San Francisco and a hobbit home in Prague.


  • marc says:

    Tall Skinny Kalvinist?

  • bob hyatt says:

    No freakin way, Tall Skinny!
    The Crowder® is sooooo the Emergent™ facial hair of choice.
    I’m telling you, the Emergent™® Convention was like a chin beard college of cardinals. The only way to tell the players was to measure the length of the beard!
    That Wagner guy’s got good length there, but the forms all messed up. It should expand towards to bottom, not peter out.
    The Crowder©™® is clearly the Official Beard of the Emergent Church™ movement!

  • Alright. I’ve said it already, but I’ll say it again. Where does the beard thing leave emerging women? Is this another attempt to marginalize them? (wink). But seriously, too funny.

  • Kierke says:

    Makes me wish I had facial hair. Does it count if you wear birkenstocks, while at the starbucks having the “conversation” about zen tattoos and their impact on worship while blogging about emerging church?

  • Kester says:

    IMHO Bryce’s extra length is offset by the plait. The Crowder + the Hedgecut™ on top just takes it.
    Interesting, refering back to the original Pognography™ post, it appears to be a nice synthesis of the Catholic and the Orthodox, with a dash of the Vaux thrown in for good measure of course 😉

  • Dave Miller says:

    Thanks for the Calvinist laugh link. What a great way to start the day! Also, do I have to grow the beard or can I purchase the look if I am facial hair challenged?

  • My question is one that no one seems to be addressing – What does an emergent woman look like?!!!

  • andrew says:

    if they leave their facial hair alone . . . maybe we would find out.
    which reminds me of a story about one of my aunties . . . .

  • bob hyatt says:

    What does an Emergent™ Woman look like?
    The Crowder rocks!

  • robbymac says:

    Ah, so unknowingly, I already have the official “alt.worship” facial hair.
    What a relief! I hate having to change my theology to match my grooming.

  • susan says:

    no fun linking to blogs that are closed…

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