Autumn is upon us. Chilly winds howling around my bare neck. Oh how I wish I had a mullet! A retro, 80’s throwback bi-level haircut, short on top and flowing down my neck in white trash glory.
If you have followed my blog for a long time, then you will know that i often go through periods of craving a mullet, before giving in to pressure from my peers. And you guys always send me the best Mullet Links, like Hotmullets, RateMyMullet and MulletsGalore.
When I asked my blog readers if i should get a mullet in May, 2002, Abigail from Sheffield presented a strong argument against it:
“Please please do not get a mullet. . .My thinking so far:
1) if your hair is your crowning glory (since I’m sure that verse applies to men as well as to women), then wouldn’t it be sacrilegious to mask its’ beauty with the aesthetic horror of a mullet?
2) hasn’t the post-modern hyper-ironic 80s-throwback revival already run out of steam? (c.f. the letter’s page in this month’s iD magazine). If we are to be pioneers of Kingdom culture rather than following the popular masses and apeing their “i’m so cool i can choose to have a mullet if i wish, because it’s only done in an ironic sense” fashion statements (again, see recent issues of iD magazine), shouldn’t we being doing something new rather than old hat (or should i say, hair)?”
Jessica, who was my PA at the time, said she would only work in a “Mullet Free Zone”
And so I resisted the urge and cut my hair short.
But its autumn again, and I should restate the argument:
Celts had mullets.
Prehistoric men had mullets.
The World Wide Wrestling Federation would hardly even exist if it were not for mullets.
Mordecai, the wise mentor of the biblical Esther, had a mullet, along with all Persians of high standing.
Jesus may have had a mullet. He certainly did NOT have the short back and sides haircut that belongs to the military or to little boys with bossy mothers . . . or preachers from Atlanta. And yet that little boy cut has become the standard for much of western evangelical Christiandom. Pentecostals in America are the BIG exception Thankfully, they managed to buck the trend and incorporate mullets into their ministry kit. They even have their version in the book “Mullets: Hairstyle of the Gods”
[hey – who borrowed my book and didnt give it back???????].
The Western church would be a lot healthier if it had more mullets. The greater the Mullet Factor, the greater the incarnation of the gospel among the blue collar, lower class demographic. Trading off Khaki Dockers for Mullets will be a sign of the church connecting with the poor, a missional reorientation to the Trailer Park, a focus on the FRINGE (ha ha) of society, and I will champion it with enthusiastic whistling and chewing of gum.
But i will probably not actually get a mullet, simply because I am too chicken, and the 80’s is still too close to me. And they gross out my wife.