Top 10 Reasons Why Lausanne Congress has an Internet Blockage

This morning I started uploading a small audio clip but gave up after 30 minutes because I figured that since the bandwidth pipes are skinnier than me right now, I might as well give them over to the social media team of Lausanne Congress coz those guys are doing a fantastic job given the current difficulties.

How can the city that streamed the World Cup video footage to the world experience such difficulties in handling the communications of the Lausanne World Congress with only 4000 participants?

There are lots of rumours out there regarding why Lausanne is suffering such severe difficulties and crippling bandwidth shortage.

First of all, Yes, there is a problem. I ran Phonebooth's online test tool and Houston . . . we have a problem. But why?

Here are the Top 10 Reasons:

1. Os Guiness's message on Monday was simply too damn heavy!

2. Dr. Evil has diverted the bandwidth to his evil headquarters and he will not release it until we pray for ONE MILLION new churches in his home country of Belgium.

Dr evil

3. It's the emerging church. Again. As usual.

4. When some verses from Ephesians 3 were blogged, the bandwidth capacity was incapable of accommodating the breadth and length and height and depth of the love of God, which surpasses knowledge, and the message utterly and completely overwhelmed the system! The Lausanne blogging team offers its apologies and promises to send out smaller blog posts of God's love from now on.

5. Henry Kaestner of, currently here at the Congress, is planning a spectacular release of his new VOIP service for South Africa on Saturday, or whenever the public frustration with its current internet provider reaches unprecedented levels of dissatisfaction.

6. The story from that North Korean girl was so moving that even the bandwidth got choked up.

7. Football fans at the World Cup were watching a ball game, yelling at the umpire and drinking beer. They were NOT sending videos of African choirs from their iphone to their church members back home in South Korea. Fourty gazillion half-drunk screaming footy fans are no match for 4000 excited, tech-savvy church leaders.

8. Geoff Tunnicliffe, after using his phone to successfully talk sense into a misguided pastor in Florida, is now utilizing his Skype account from his Cape Town hotel room to talk sense into every misguided pastor in Florida.

9. An enemy has done this! Some powerful, influential country that is not impressed with the small number of their representation at the conference is putting the squeeze on our bandwidth pipes. Probably New Zealand. It's obviously NOT France because they are still arguing over what a pipe even looks like.

Screen shot 2010-10-20 at 16.04.24

10. Sometimes things just happen. But always for a reason.

Whats the skinny?

Tell you what I think. I think if you are at the Lausanne World Congress in Cape Town then you should . . .


How can you enjoy the congress and get the most out of if when all you can think of is the sound quality of your audio and the lighting for the next picture. Why not let the pros at the social media team do that? They have better cameras than you anyway, and the good stuff will be available free online pretty soon. Knowing that you can access it later will free you up to  . . . enjoy the congress.

So focus in, hear from God, add your voice to those prayers, open yourself up to each other and ENJOY THE CONGRESS!


Andrew Jones launched his first internet space in 1997 and has been teaching on related issues for the past 20 years. He travels all the time but lives between Wellington, San Francisco and a hobbit home in Prague.


  • Cobus says:

    You missed the most obvious one: You are now in South Africa! South African bandwidth is a REAL mess-up, has always been. Die soccer was streamed through a new optic cable backbone installed especially for the world cup, and I doubt that has been integrated into the main network by now. I love my country, but we REALLY need to work on our telecomunication services and tariffs (I believe this can be a topic which Lausanne might want to address, since it involves development in Africa, the missionaries should be in an ideal position to solve the crisis :-))

  • Robhay says:

    I understand it is actually a conscious decision by LCWE in case any one was to access subversive material…like NT Wright!

  • Dude this is Cape Town, we work at a different pace. The bandwidth will be working fine in about a week or two. When it feels like it… I hear the surf is good today…

  • Mary DeMuth says:

    The answer is simple. “It wasn’t elected,” said Calvin.

  • Dion Forster says:

    Hey Andrew…
    The official answer from the manager of the social networking team is this: It’s a postmodern problem! What some consider to be a lack of bandwidth, some consider to be a spiritual experience of internet silence…
    Ha ha! I love your list!
    We hope to have the problem solved soon! We’re working on it!
    Conspiring for hope!

  • Cindz says:

    very funny Andrew! 🙂

  • Dion Forster says:

    Slacktavist !? I am not Bob and I do not approve ofmthis message (obscure reference to ‘this is not a pipe’ :-). Google it!
    Be blessed,

  • SteveFouch says:

    Last time I was at a Christian conference in Africa (in Jos) there was no bandwidth! Attempts to Skype, blog or just plain email were fruitless, despite a supposed wireless network. So, I just hunkered down, enjoyed the conference, some real Nigerian hospitality, and was greatly blessed all round. So to all those moaning, just enjoy the fellowship and what God is saying – the rest of us listening around the world have plenty of news coming through!

  • Anton says:

    Oh, the pipe that’s not a pipe, but looks very much like a pipe is Belgian and not French (if it’s a pipe or not). So it could be France anyway. And one million extra churches here in Belgium? Great idea!
    Anton, Leuven, Belgium

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